Overnight Desk Supervisor

So... a lot of stuff has happened at work lately. The ODS (see title) was fired because "of having personal relationships with residents." I don't believe one word of that at all. I don't think that she would of risked her job and livelihood for a piece of a$$. Anyways, so she was dismissed and now the bossman says that he is going to hire one of us part timers to take her place. A couple days later he puts up a posting letting everyone know they have until the end of the year to apply for the ODS. So, I think about it for awhile and decide that even though he has his favorite employee (who he grew up with / who is also going for the ODS) I would try for it. The next day that I see the bossman he comes in and before he even clocks in he says to me "Did you see the posting for the ODS?" me: "Yep." Bossman : "Did you apply for it yet?" Me: "Yep, yesterday." Bossman: "Oh good." So fast forward to today and I was getting ready to clock out and he asks if I have a minute to talk to him. He then proceeds to tell me that only two people that have applied are eligable for the ODS position and I am one of them. He also sets up a time for an interview and testing for the job. He then says to me, "Once we get done with all this and I interview the other person *sigh* Amy and I will train you on overnights." My head almost did a 360!! He then told me exactly what the test was going to be, how he expected me to do it, etc. So, I *think* I am a shoein for this new job. If I get it i'll be getting a 2.50$ per hour pay raise and i'll be having 2x as many hours. w00t w00t.

Oh by the way... I'm engaged. :D

First snowfall brings sadness...

Well, since I finally got a new keyboard I thought it would be time to finally update.
Since about 3-4pm yesterday my cousin has been missing. She called her sister and left a message around midnight stating that she was fine and safe. Everyone is worried about her. Is she really safe? Is she warm? (She did atleast leave with a coat) She is using drugs again? All of these things are running through everyone's mind. She does have a pre-paid cell phone with her (as far as we know) but her boyfriend and her parents do not want to call her in as missing persons. She has already been gone 24 hours and she has done this before. I am just so worried about her. She has become almost like a sister to me. *sigh* **Update as I was writing this: She just called her mom and said that she was fine and that she would be back home tomorrow.**

In other news, work is going along about as well as expected. Two people have recently left leaving us to 8 desk clerks instead of 10. So, now I have to pick up Sundays until the boss man can get another couple of people hired. *sigh* Atleast it's more money. Always glad to have more money. Especially around the holidays.

Will update more later.

Untitled

So, I thought I would update on my life such as it is right now anyways. I am currently on some medicine for depression and anxiety and I can really feel a difference with myself. I feel a lot more calm and I am able to step back now an look at my emotions before I act upon them. I also have been seeing a therapist. It is very nice to be able to talk to someone about all the shit that has been bothering me for awhile now. He is very understanding and he actually talks with me, not at me or just listens. He told me in this last therapy session " Ashli, people have the right be be stupid and lazy you can't change that. Just like you have the right to choose whether you let it bother you or not." And I have been really trying to take that to heart. I can't make people change or do things but I can choose not to get angry about it anymore and affect ME.

Also, for the past 2-3 weeks we have been cleaning out my house and re-modeling/re-arranging it. It has taken almost every ounce of energy I have to do all this housework. But my house looks so much nicer and when it's all said and over with I'll live in a nice place. But that's all for now. Thought i'd make an update. :)

"You do know that this is therapy, right?"

That was the first question my new therapist asked me at our first session yesterday. I thought it was quite odd... Who doesn't know that they are going to a therapy session? Well... nevermind. Ever since the two break downs that happened about 3 weeks ago, I've been on medicine and now I am going to therapy. To be completely honest I feel a lot better. I don't feel like i'm drowning in emotion anymore. So, more updates as I try to get my life re-arranged. :)

Ashli

TMI Tuesday

So, I found this ne interesting and thought I might as well share.

1. What is the strangest thing you have ever inserted or seen inserted (in a sexual manner) in person? I've heard not ever seen in person, but a friend in junior high *swore* that her sister used to masturbate with a 20oz pop bottle. *shudders*


2. Have you ever had sex anyone whose name started with a J?
I don't believe that I ever have.

3. Have you ever been outside completely naked?
Oh yeah, and I enjoyed every minute of it!

4. Do you prefer music, tv, or other noise in the background when you have sex? *shrugs* It doesn't really matter... once in the act I don't hear much unless it's someone knocking or moving around the house.

5. Have you ever used ice for sexual purposes?
Oh hell yeah!

Bonus: Have you ever been propositioned for group sex?
Yes. And I have on a couple of occasions. It was .... different.

*no title*

So... I finally broke down and went to the doctors and told him what was going on. I also had to talk to a crisis team member an now I have a referral to see a therapist. They are supposed to call me next week. Gotta start my first dose of Clonazepam tonight and Effeckzor tomorrow. Joyous right? Anything to feel better. I really hope this helps...

Finally....

So, after 6 years of battling the state of Iowa my mother has finally been approved for her SSDI. It lifts a great burden off of her shoulders to finally be able to afford the things that she needs and wants. She is positively glowing now that she feels she will finally be able to be independent. Her and I are seriously considering buying our own place to live. It'll probably only be a mobile home, but it'll be better than renting or staying where we are currently at.

Will update later when I can manage to put more than 50 words together coherently.

We're off to see the wizard...

So.... since I am the only one in the household who has an income ... again ... and I only have a part time job *I* will be loosing my cell phone and internet. I don't know how long before anything is turned back on. I don't even know if we will have a home phone. So, yeah... living off of less than 500$ a month for a family of 4 sucks.

Will post when I finally either a) get a full time job or b) someone else in my household does.

Cowgirl

So, I thought i'd show everyone (well, mostly Kelly ) what MiKayla is looking like now-a-days. She went to get her pictures done by her sister and I thought she looked awfully damn cute. She wore this outfit (not the boots) to school and the family thought it would be extremely cute for pictures. Can you believe she's only 8?!?!

*** Sorry the pictures are small, I dunno how to make them bigger!!!***

Updates on life.

Well, I am still working at the YMCA. On September 3rd it will be 6 months since I started there. The last two months I was working 40 hour weeks, which was hectic not being able to go outside and swim but the paychecks were NICE! :D

I just got done with my summer pool league session and the end of session tournament. My team placed 2nd! I won the final game that secured us 2nd place... it was an awesome feeling let me tell ya!

A few things on the home front. My aunt started dating this guy. Which is fine, I'm glad that she has found someone who makes her ... "happy" my problem is that she now spends almost no time with her daughter and she doesn't do anything around the house. I was working 40 hours a week an cleaning, cooking, laundry, dishes, babysitting... it was on my last nerve. I talked to my mom tonight about when/if she gets disability if she would consider moving out with me into a 2 bedroom apartment. I think it would be better for us and that we would be much happier. I just don't know how much longer I am going to be able to stay here in this environment without going crazy. Pretty soon here I am going to get another part time job (when they start looking for holiday help) that way I'll be able to save up some money to move out next year.

Also, I am taking a mini-vacation. I am going to my sisters house for 4 days. I am excited to be able to see my little niece who I haven't been able to see in over a year. Speaking of my sister, her and I have been talking a lot more lately. It's nice to be able to openly talk to her again, AND she lets me get a word in edgewise! :D

Well, hopefully I'll remember to post more often. I do read everyone's blogs still ....

Ashli

YMCA

So, I know I haven't posted in quite some time but I figured I might as well write a short update.
I am working at the YMCA as a Resident Desk Clerk.
My job is very easy, and most of the time I get paid to sit behind a desk and read.
There are times though when things do get really hectic, but I think that my trainer and boss have taught me all the necessary tools to deal with those sort of situations.
I just started the job early last week, and so far I really like it. Plus, I get a free membership at the YMCA so that makes up for the lack of money I get per hour! :D Can you say SWIMMING for me?! Ok, I gotta go and get ready for work... update more later!


Ashli

Meme stolen from Biscuit

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship? A. I'm not in a relationship currently, this is such a complicated answer! 2) What was your dream growing up?A. I wanted to be a doctor for babies and old people, actually quoting myself here lol, that way I could bring life into the world and ease the pain as it left. 3) What talent do you wish you had?A. To be able to draw. I draw like a kidnegartner on crack, it's really sad.4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?A. Watermelon pucker and Mt Dew. I can't drink the hard stuff anymore, it smells like nail polish remover. >.<5) Favorite vegetable?A. The only vegetable that I can't have is mushrooms, but I like most of the rest of 'em. Haven't found one I don't like yet.6) What was the last book you read?A. I don't remember the title of the actual book, but the series was called Riley Jenson series... *blush*7) What day of the week were you born on? Or Zodiac sign, your choice. ("I wasn't there, so I don't remember.")A. I'm competely and utterly a Taurus. And the Chinese zodiac I am an ox, so i'm realllly stubborn. :D8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.A. I don't have any piercings anymore, but I have two tattoos. One on my back it's a pentagram that was copied off my promise ring from my best friend, and then a celtic knot on the back on my neck. 9) Worst Habit?A. PROCRASTINATION.10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?A. Hells yeah!11) What is your favorite sport?A. For me personally? It used to be softball, but to watch? Would either be basketball or football...12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?A. Both. It depends on the situation. 13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?A. Chat for hours prolly.14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?A. I don't really know...15) Tell me one weird fact about you.A. I am afraid of sleeping alone, I once said that I would pay a hooker just to lay next to me in bed so I wouldn't have to sleep alone, keep in mind I didn't want to have sex with the hooker, just for them to lay next to me! 16) Do you have any pets?A. I have a ferret named Benjamin C. Beaureguard.. but in my house we also have Daveni the hamster, Delilah the guinea pig, Pi & Warrior & Patchy the dogs.17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?A. I would be like OMG! :O18) What was your first impression of me? (Alternatively, why do they always ask this in memes? Or better yet, why should I care?)A. I don't really remember.19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?A. I've got no problem with clowns, seeing as I like the movie "It" and I live next door to professional clowns. 20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?A. Weight. 21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?A. partners in crime :D22) What color eyes do you have?A. Blueish green23) Ever been arrested?A. Once, 3 days after I turned 18. 24) Bottle or can soda?A. Really doesn't matter to me, just have some dew in it!25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?A. Pay off student loans, buy a nice used car, and then put the rest on house bills.27) What's your favorite place to hang at? A. The lake or a park.28) Do you believe in ghosts?A. Yep..29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?A. Sit here at the puter.30) Do you swear a lot?A. Yep, though I don't think I do.31) Biggest pet peeve?A. Sipping the pop off the little ring on the outside of the pop can... 32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?A. Unknowing I guess.33) Do you believe in/appreciate romance? (I don't get the "slash appreciate" here. If you believe in it, it would seem you appreciate it. If you don't, well...)A. Yep.34) Why do memes always have at least one question missing?!A. Who knows? People can't count?35) Do you believe in God? A. Depends on which one you are talking about. :)36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? A. Sure.

The beauty of Darkness... a poem

The darkness falls over
the vast landscape of my life
but before the whimpers can escape
from my throat
the brightness of you shines down
upon me from the heavens
tiny sphere/s peaking out showing
that even in the darkness beauty exists
you are everywhere and no where
the feeling of warmth does not shine forth
but the knowledge of guidance does
your light guides my darkness forward
to somewhere it should not be able to go
your distance and yet appearance of closeness
is strangely helpful, and only for me
you are not the sun that warms the oceans
but the moon and stars that guide them
you are mine in that way
and in that way I am yours.

-Ashli

An Iceball to the face...Beware RANT!

So today i've become so frustrated that I needed to vent. My little cousin MiKayla rides the bus to and from school. She *loves* to ride the bus, she wanted to ride the bus since she knew what it was about. The only problem is, she gets harassed by the other students at the bus stop. No, harassement is such a tame word, she is terrorized down there. We have called the school, walked up there with her, tried talking to the parents... nothing has worked. At first MiKayla wouldn't even tell a teacher anything was happening. But we finally talked her into talking to *someone* at the school about what was happening. So, she did and the kids got brought in and talked to, and wouldn't you know, it started getting worse. We called the school several times a week to have her bus transportation re-routed to a bus stop 1 block down the street, and no one would return our phone calls. Kim and I went up to school to talk to the principal and she said that they were *not* responsible for students before they were on school grounds. Now, since the school basically refused to protect her at the bus stop, we started taking her to and from school in the car. It stopped some of the problem, but once the kids figured out why she was riding in her mom's car they started harassing her at school more. So this year she has been ok, not great but ok. Then her first report card came back and it was like.. all non-sufficients or whatever. This is completely and utterly ridiculous, because MiKayla is doing 3rd grade work at home. She can write in cursive, do multiplications, starting to do fractions, and is reading chapter books. So, today the boiling point was this morning MiKayla was at the bus stop (she wanted to be back on the bus this year) and was circled by all the students at the bus stop, ICE BALLS thrown at her face, and then she was on the ground where the proceeded to try and kick her. This is the point where my mom flew off the handle and started yelling at the kids. And then the bus showed up. So, I wake up to my mom being pissed off and she tells me why. I get MiKaylas mom awake and tell her the problem. She calls the school to tell them she wants to take MiKayla out of school because of this ongoing problem and guess what... Because she is a MINORITY at her school they won't let her open-enroll somewhere else. The school is predominately hispanic, bosnian, and african-american. They get extra money from the state for cacausin students. We would have to move out of the schools district to have any chance of moving her to another school. We can't do that, our house is fully paid for, we couldn't afford the montly payments. So finally the school calls back and says that they are going to change her bus schedule to the one that is one block the other direction. I really hope this helps. If not I will start video-recording these kids and take it to the news.

*end rant*

Updated Ramblings...

So, a few times i've sat down and thought... "I will defintely make a blog today!" And as you can see that never did happen. Life has been interesting, I'm trying to get my anger under control and it's getting better. I still have arguments with my family, mostly my aunt, but i'm not screaming at them anymore. Although sometimes I wish I could!

I promise i'll write more when I have something to actually write about.

Hey there Delilah...

We went to PetSmart where my friend Cassy works and bought a new Guinea Pig today. She is black and white, about 3-4 months old, and we named her Delilah. She has huge ears, lmao. So now we have Delilah the guinea pig, Daveny the hamster, Benjamin C. Beaureguard the ferret, Patchy Pi and Warrior- the dogs... :D We defintely are a menagerie!

New years....

So, I spent New Years eve with the group of friends that i'm growing closer to. We played D&D, ate pizza, drank some champagne, and just generally had a good time. I decided that my resolutions aren't going to be taking things away from my life but adding them... here they are for anyone who cares:

1) To spend more time at home with my family, and less at the bar playing pool.
2) To enjoy the little things in life, and not sweat stuff so much.
3) To be happy with the things I can not change.
4) To start writing daily in my journal things I want accomplished so I can no longer forget them.
5) To go and get help with my problems.
6) To savour things that I normally don't fully appreciate.

I think that's about it. :) Happy New Years everyone!!

-Ashli