So, I spent New Years eve with the group of friends that i'm growing closer to. We played D&D, ate pizza, drank some champagne, and just generally had a good time. I decided that my resolutions aren't going to be taking things away from my life but adding them... here they are for anyone who cares:
1) To spend more time at home with my family, and less at the bar playing pool.
2) To enjoy the little things in life, and not sweat stuff so much.
3) To be happy with the things I can not change.
4) To start writing daily in my journal things I want accomplished so I can no longer forget them.
5) To go and get help with my problems.
6) To savour things that I normally don't fully appreciate.
I think that's about it. :) Happy New Years everyone!!
-Ashli
Showing posts with label Suggestion Box. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Suggestion Box. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Bonds
So today, I'm going to talk about bonds. Bonds of friends, romance, and family. I don't know a better way to describe the feeling with other people than with bonds. Each of us has them with other people, and each bond is different from another one you have with someone else.
In my instance, the bonds with my blood relatives (apart from my mother) are fairly non-existent. I have lost all respect for two of my uncles and my grandfather. They have decided to put either woman or gambling first in their lives, and disrepect those whom took care of them and loved them in the past. Those were their decisions, and now I am the one picking up the pieces of it. Do I miss my family? Yes of course, my grandfather and I were really close when I was younger but when my grandmother died everything changed. I can't say that I really ever had that big of a bond with my eldest uncle, I do remember him trying to run me over once as a child, so when he leaves this world I doubt I shall feel much more than a twinge of pain for him. As for my youngest uncle, I have lost all respect for the man. He is a backstabbing, good for nothing lowlife who barely ever has a job. But I digress, the bonds.. yes, I have very little bonds with them anymore. My mother is the only exception.. you see she is the one who raised me. My father spent over 1/2 my life in prison for attempted murder. My earliest memories of him are me seeing him behind bars. But my mother used to work 2 or 3 jobs just to support us-bills and etc, pay for me to play softball and have the basic needs of life. I feel obligated now to take care of her in her time of need. She took care of me for 18 years, I think this is the best way to pay her back. My mother and I have such a strong bond that I know life will competely be changed when she passes on.
As for friends, they are more like my family then my actual family is. I have very few friends. Because friends to me means something more than what most people consider a friend. These people I would take a bullet for, give my last cent to, and would walk to the end of the earth for. I am grateful for these people. One of the most important people in my life right now, being my best friend from high school, Cassy. She has been my saviour these past two weeks, my sanctuary from the "cold" and "darkness" of real life. She has opened her doors to me, so I may rest, rejuvenate, and meditate. Her and I have bonded so much these past two weeks that I am so thankful for her presence.
Now onto romance bonds. I have to admit that I have been in many romantic interludes in my short life of dating. When I go into a relationship, I do it with everything that I have... heart, body and soul. I guess that because I give everything and all that I have that I expect the same back. I have bonds still with some of the people whom i've had romances with in the past, but I have not been to break some of these. As of the ones in the most recent past. But I digress.
I wanted to give a...piece of advice if you will. Explore the bonds that you have with the world around you. Express your gratitude towards the people whom with you have bonds with. Create new bonds with people whom you were contemplating doing so with. And remember, cherish what you have, praise what you did, and being thankful for what you want.
In my instance, the bonds with my blood relatives (apart from my mother) are fairly non-existent. I have lost all respect for two of my uncles and my grandfather. They have decided to put either woman or gambling first in their lives, and disrepect those whom took care of them and loved them in the past. Those were their decisions, and now I am the one picking up the pieces of it. Do I miss my family? Yes of course, my grandfather and I were really close when I was younger but when my grandmother died everything changed. I can't say that I really ever had that big of a bond with my eldest uncle, I do remember him trying to run me over once as a child, so when he leaves this world I doubt I shall feel much more than a twinge of pain for him. As for my youngest uncle, I have lost all respect for the man. He is a backstabbing, good for nothing lowlife who barely ever has a job. But I digress, the bonds.. yes, I have very little bonds with them anymore. My mother is the only exception.. you see she is the one who raised me. My father spent over 1/2 my life in prison for attempted murder. My earliest memories of him are me seeing him behind bars. But my mother used to work 2 or 3 jobs just to support us-bills and etc, pay for me to play softball and have the basic needs of life. I feel obligated now to take care of her in her time of need. She took care of me for 18 years, I think this is the best way to pay her back. My mother and I have such a strong bond that I know life will competely be changed when she passes on.
As for friends, they are more like my family then my actual family is. I have very few friends. Because friends to me means something more than what most people consider a friend. These people I would take a bullet for, give my last cent to, and would walk to the end of the earth for. I am grateful for these people. One of the most important people in my life right now, being my best friend from high school, Cassy. She has been my saviour these past two weeks, my sanctuary from the "cold" and "darkness" of real life. She has opened her doors to me, so I may rest, rejuvenate, and meditate. Her and I have bonded so much these past two weeks that I am so thankful for her presence.
Now onto romance bonds. I have to admit that I have been in many romantic interludes in my short life of dating. When I go into a relationship, I do it with everything that I have... heart, body and soul. I guess that because I give everything and all that I have that I expect the same back. I have bonds still with some of the people whom i've had romances with in the past, but I have not been to break some of these. As of the ones in the most recent past. But I digress.
I wanted to give a...piece of advice if you will. Explore the bonds that you have with the world around you. Express your gratitude towards the people whom with you have bonds with. Create new bonds with people whom you were contemplating doing so with. And remember, cherish what you have, praise what you did, and being thankful for what you want.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Eye Candy
So, yes... I know that most people probably assume that this topic is in some way barbaric or someshit like that... but ya know, there is that one person, you can turn around and look at and they just do it for ya. In some way shape or form. Could just be the crinkle around their eyes, the way their lips point just slightly up, or the way their voice kinda rumbles when laughing. Yep, I've recently found it healthy to have eye candy. A good uncomplicated person, who you can just look at. Yep, actually I think it's therapeutical. Good ol' human ego, physche, and libido at work. So next time your at work, having a stressful day and about ready to bash your head into a wall... find a guy or girl (both if your lucky) and get some eye candy. And when you feel better afterwards, give me a shout out. ;)
Anyways.. thought i'd write that all out and such. :D Two more days before I leave to go back home, where I have no computer and such. Cassy has been more than kind enough to let me stay here for a week... it feels wonderful to be able to take so much time to myself for healing, meditation, and concentration. Life at Cassy's house is much simplier than at my own, of course I don't have to take care of anyone else when I'm here... but still. I feel at peace here, and when I was at home, I felt like my shields and barriers were down and I couldn't get them back up? Crazy yes? Well.. anyways, I'll catch ya'll later.
Anyways.. thought i'd write that all out and such. :D Two more days before I leave to go back home, where I have no computer and such. Cassy has been more than kind enough to let me stay here for a week... it feels wonderful to be able to take so much time to myself for healing, meditation, and concentration. Life at Cassy's house is much simplier than at my own, of course I don't have to take care of anyone else when I'm here... but still. I feel at peace here, and when I was at home, I felt like my shields and barriers were down and I couldn't get them back up? Crazy yes? Well.. anyways, I'll catch ya'll later.
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